My favorite Lyrics.

2 Mar

There’s a lot that you don’t notice when you read between the lines, the future is out of focus when you’re blinded by the light, it’s a hope for all the hopeless in the worst of trying times, I resort for being speechless cause out love won’t survive.

The above lyrics are from the song Don’t Speak by the Jonas Brothers. It’s an amazing song, what stood out of it was these lyrics. It holds too much emotion and feeling. It’s very true, a lot can relate to it, from different perspectives, dimensions and topics.

Do you relate?

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Pause.

2 Mar

You get a moment of sudden revelation or sight. You catch yourself doing exactly what you made fun of and criticized, you make plans to take actions and you stick to them 2 days to the max, then you’re back to point zero. We then start to see ourselves as trapped inside a box, no matter how hard we try to escape we fail. We reach a point where we would turn to self help, therapy, drugs, but we are only sinking further. The only way to truly break out and escape the box, is to get rid of it all together. What would it take? A method, a plan, a person who simply keeps reminding you of the promises you made and never did. It may seem silly I know, but all of us has gone through such days once. It may sound easy, but it takes determination, self trust, and passion.

Since you have an epiphany and according to your life, you’re willing to change it to the better. Yet, your thoughts are paralyzed, incapacitated, and you can’t organize your thoughts for 2 minutes. You spend most of the time over thinking and what are you over thinking about? YOU HAVE NO DAMN IDEA. Your mind; the element that allows you to think, to act, to feel, makes you become fully aware of life and everyone around you; the faculty of consciousness and thought. So, so Perhaps the next time you have a headache, try to think of it as; your mind is an overdrive, filled with thoughts, analysts.

Form personal experience I knew that solitude might just be the antidote, over the course of 7 days. I escaped all that notable 21st century noise, all that pointless drama. I regained my mind. I was able for the very first time to see life clearly, able to see it from a different perspective, able to see life at its most pureness. Well, my life, able to see it free from all the city’s impurities.

So, to conclude. I mean it’s important to take a break from life; from time to time. So perhaps, you can take a train go anywhere, be spontaneous, be natural, be free, you never know, you might just find your calling.

Take a break, you deserve it…

On The Definition Of Happiness.

24 Feb

“Humanity greatest desire is to connect, to belong, and now we can see each other, hear each other.”

-through many social networks-.A lot could’ve started to think or already knows; that happiness is out there for whom seeks it. Yet, there are more people who are miserable than the happy ones. Define misery as you like; but to me, the word misery holds and captivates a lot of emotion, a dark story or a secret. By which their stories can be mainly told by the lonely, isolated, in grief ones.

Happiness toward every human is very different, varies from one to other to me-things that makes me happy- is that to hold my cup of coffee, tug under a blanket, and stare at an amazing piece of art that has the power to silence the whole world around me, a song that speaks for me, with this soft melody in its background, that makes me feel the ‘pureness of life’; not those mainstream songs that you have to buy on iTunes or download from the Internet. A small book, that has a collection of real good fine words, and has the ability to transform me back and forward through time; transporting me to a whole new, different dimension, letting me imagine it differently.

Happiness requires mental strength and a certain command on your perspective, the ability to look at the same thing whether its bad or good; (call it being optimistic) in a different way is a gift only a few possess. It’s essential to shield yourself from drama and sadness that does not directly affect your life and which you can not do anything to change; for example, the drama that you find yourself being magically sucked in by those who hate you, they use as it as a way to push you down further. These my friends are the people who are what’s wrong with this planet. Nevertheless, Such problems can affect your life negatively, and the empathy that comes with it is crippling. Suddenly, you will find yourself engaged in more drama, from online and offline useless debates about Political views; against it or supporting it. A human tragedy in a distant country, that wouldn’t directly affect your life, and you won’t be able to do anything to help it. We are already surrounded by such drama, why add more to your life?

So, to sum it up. On the definition of happiness and it’s pursuit, is to find
the true joys of life, everything else is considered sedatives, happiness is a lot simpler and it’s free.

Claim your free happiness and don’t sweat away the small stuff. Let your happiness be!

Why I write..

23 Feb

Why I write? I write to escape reality. I write because i cant be heard. I write for life; its second chances. I write because it brings out what my mouth can’t say. I write because I believe it can create a path in darkness. I write out of my experiences. I write because then I do not have to speak. I write with the shades of memory. I write for a smile. I write as a witness to what I have seen, touched, and felt. I write as a witness to what I imagine, and dream. I write for the love of ideas. I write for the surprise of a feeling, moment. I write for those breathtaking moments. I write for my addiction to words. I write to give voice to the voiceless. I write to seek help for the lonely, isolated, grief ones. I write to imagine things differently. I write as a hobby. I write because i want to be a hope, awaken the hunger, thirst for freedom. I write to make make my words as a hope, a comfort; make you feel like “yes, that explains me from deep inside.”. For when you cry and no is by your side my words will be. I write to make you feel, wonder how close we are, how close we can relate even though we’ve never met. I write to fill my soul, and for those who cant express themselves through words. I keep writing and suddenly, I am overcome the madness, the pointless, the ridiculousness of this list. I trust nothing especially myself. Then i realize it doesn’t matter, words are always an illusion, a puzzle. words are splinters from cut glass. I write because it is dangerous, a bloody risk, a lie, very strong, breaking; like love, makes your heart believe a lie, form the words, to say the words, to touch the loved, to be touched, to reveal how vulnerable we are, how weak we humans are. I write as though I whisper in the ears of who I love.
Why do you write?

Something Meaningful.

13 Feb

It took me a while to write, edit, post this writing. I’ve been busy studying for my exams, wish me good luck! For a few days I have been wondering, lost, asking. I didn’t know what to write about; till just a while ago, I figured why not write about a story of how wisdom has a found its way and started to build, flourish inside a soul. A man who’s very close to me; my grandfather. I guess you can see this writing as a narrative story; said to me by my grandmother and now am saying it to you -bunch of strangers-. So, I guess i like writing to you guys.[Oh, I would like to take a moment and thank you all for liking my ‘I guess I needed a second chance’ piece. A big thank you.:)] Anyway, let me begin…

I was sitting on a couch inside granny’s house, my 5 year old brother and my aunt’s son come up to me. Usually, us upper-class-Egyptions talk English and Arabic simultaneously. I love how these kids spoke English; fluent, easily, as if it’s their native tongue. It’s mainly because they grew up with everyone around them speaking good English. So, we talked a bit, played a bit. I love spending time around them. They leave, after a while.

Minutes later. I find my grandmother staring at me, locking the words in her mouth waiting for the exact right moment to burst into a conversation.It didn’t have to take her to speak in that strong, rich, clear voice of her’s for me to notice her simplicity, everything in her face pointed it out -crystal clear-.

HER: Come Nada, let me tell you a story about ‘Gedo’ (this is what we called our grandfather).
ME: Yea sure, why not? Am bored anyway.
HER: You already know. You were the only one who saw Gedo between your sibling.
ME: Yea, I know that. I am grateful, he’s such an amazing man. I love him, ‘Allah yerhamo’ (Arabic for Rest in peace)
HER: Back in the days, when I first saw Gedo, he looked firm, strong, yet caring. A year later we married, and as we grew older, our love grew even more. *CUTEE**I chuckle, then smile* As an old man, he was wise, of good judgment, pure confidence, and had powerful knowledge; that he learned from life and work. Nearly ‘kol el nas elly fel baldya w shar3na’ (Slang Arabic for All the people in our street and municipality) Came to him for advice, he was known for his wisdom, and advising People.
ME: Nana-what I call my granny- He’s seemed smart, sophisticated, persuasive when talking. He grew more inside my eyes. But, Nana, you simply don’t say something unless, it has a link to someone now. Ohhh, you say that I have the same characteristics as Gedo.
HER: No, you are a reckless teenage girl, combination of stupid and smart, mostly of good heart, and have an incredible sense of humor.

I laughed.
She completes.

HER: what I meant to say, that if you ever want to witness your Gedo’s actions and his nature again, watch your father, he’s an exact copy of Gedo.

She leaves.
Thoughts that ran inside my head during the conversation.

Is really my Father is an exact copy of Gedo? Can it possibly be? Don’t get me wrong, but I am thrilled, excited. In fact, I feel its an honor for my Father to be like Gedo. It’s true, because whenever people hear Gedo’s name, they go on and on of how amazing, warm, wise, and of good nature he was. It’s touching. I am proud. Proud of two wonderful men; Gedo and Daddy.

So, what I learned out of this talk; Is that in order to obtain Knowledge to obtain wisdom one must have good judgment, pure confidence, and knowledge. When a person has obtained these three distinguishing characteristics then and only then, will a person experience true wisdom. Even though these three characteristics seem to be easily obtainable most people will never truly experience wisdom. These characteristics are difficult to obtain individually, but can be obtained by following a few steps (which I think it’s a way to be obtained) The first step in obtaining wisdom is possessing good judgment. One must use their analytical skills to have good judgment. By analyzing each scenario a person is able to arrive at a positive conclusion. For example, the person must be able to compromise of the negative, and positive sides. Understanding the difference between good and bad is not always as simple as it may seem. There are times people do not use any judgment at all. There are cases where people go with their gut feeling. Therefore good judgment can only be obtained if the person is by analyzing the consequences of their actions. Only then, the person may reach a true wide perspective of the other person. This leads to pure confidence. I guess, confidence builds from the inside, it’s more like courage.

“Language is courage: the ability to conceive a thought, to speak it, and by doing so to make it true.”

As the pervious quote states, to me, or what I think. Pure confidence, is a language; it has the ability to conceive a thought, speak it through words: fine words, making the person feel confident. Basically, what I mean to say is that confidence only shows through a person’s words, talks. Not by actions. By words. As the more the person is able to send a message, a rush of curiosity, a thought. The listener will fall for their words, which is a talent that only a few can purse or even blessed with. Then knowledge comes in, and words again… For example, you pick up a book about anything, read it, flip through it you have gained knowledge through words, pictures. I fear that some of you readers; perhaps all didn’t quite understand my last part. My message, is that it’s cycle. That this leads to this. That knowledge, leads to pure confidence, leads to good judgement. I have came to a conclusion where, everything that affects the people mostly, and has majority is words… Yes, words my friends. Use them effectively, widely, in different mixed up ways.

It’s something meaningful…
Hope you guys like it.

Believers.

6 Feb

For sometime I believed that today’s generation is by far one of the best. I still do. I understood very well why. We built great big things, made ungodly technological advances, explored the universe, cured diseases; ones that scientists doubted, and cultivated the world’s greatest artists and the world’s greatest men and women; who inspired. We reached for the stars, and we acted like men. We aspired to intelligence; we didn’t belittle it; it didn’t make us feel inferior. We didn’t identify ourselves by who we voted for in the last election. We fought for moral reasons. Fought for freedom. Fought for the poor. I believe that the greatest breakout that the whole wide world witnessed, recently and still is and was in shock by the number of people who died fighting, seeking their human rights from those who took it away, feeding their greed from the People’s goods; was the revolutions that happened in the Middle east. Tunis, Egypt, Syria, Libya. All these countries, who got tired of the cruelty, unfair power.

There, you have a population who was trapped inside there own self; scared to go out and fight for their freedom, human rights. Trapped inside their fear. There, you have a government, a President who only seeks their needs, once they tasted the very first portions of satisfying their needs, greed took over them, made them sweep all the country’s goods, money, left the people of the countries suffering from a great decline in every department of human needs, a declining economy. Poverty grown worse, people became more exhausted and frustrated by their increasing needs and social injustice. Till one day they were able to break through, fought, shouted their rights, protested days and nights. They didn’t get tired. They dreamt about this moment, planned for this day. It was magical, you had men, women, kids of all ages all walking together, united, aiming for one thing, a brighter future, a better place to work and live, and most importantly a safe environment for their kids to grow up in. We were able to take down the political system that caused us grief and ache; continuous pain. And we were able to be all these things and do all these things because we were informed. By great men, men who were revered, that the first way to approach any problem, is too recognize there is one. We recognized that our country isn’t a great one anymore.

Written by an Egyptian. Proud to be. Proud of my country; Egypt. Yet, I am deeply In grief as the Muslim Brotherhood are bringing us to point zero. But, we won’t backdown, not now, never.

Guess I needed a second chance.

6 Feb

It’s been so long since I’ve last written anything. I don’t really know why I was away from writing for this long, life was being a distraction; I guess. A lot has happened I was away from writing; a lot that I can write a book about.

For a pretty long portion of my life. I was curious. I was questioning. I was ungratified. I didn’t know what’s right or wrong. All I knew is what my human instinct whispers in my ear every step I take. Heart beats fast, with every tap my shoes make as I walk down the streets of Alexandria, thinking, analyzing, puzzled, and lost in my deepest thought. It was hard, felt like a block over my shoulders, more of me locked in a prison with no bars or chains that I can see. No one stopping me from chasing my well deserved freedom, or breathing that fresh air that my lungs desires to take it all in. I swore that I’d one day talk about the magic of it, and how it invades my body as a growing tumor, leaving it willingly enter the body of a healthy victim; I feel the thrill and the rush of hormones as I dream about that day. So here I am, after tasting a fine portion of what life can give, telling you -stranger- a few of my life stories that left a great impact on me, and made me who I am today.

Life is good.. Happiness is out there for whom seeks it.. Home is a favorite place.. People are pleasant.. A whole lot of memories, lies; pretty ones though; well adjusted to have everyone in them, especially the hopeful ones like my very self, and to be as comfort or a hope for the hopeless in the worst of trying times. I truly and strongly believe that they are very simple as writing them down on sticky notes and having them hung on the wall in my room as reminders, because seeing them makes me smile. Words are the most complex illusion to the mankind. Why? As words can be played with, mixed, you can do a lot with words if you give yourself the chance too, by the simplest of words you can help, encourage, inspire, motivate, make someone’s day, all you’ve got to do is believe. The biggest, trust-worthy proof are the holly books, the collection of its finest words made into sentences buried inside the heart of millions and millions of believers, holding onto them to face, reply, answer any of life’s problems. The constitution; the body of principles on how a state should be governed. Well-manufactured words. And for that, my lust, passion for words began.

At a very young age. I was a victim of bullying, I got bullied by everyone in my class. The words they would use would just cut through me. As simple as a sharp knife cuts through a cake. Yes, as simple as that. And I was just a kid, didn’t know how or what to reply back thus, I ran away from them, found a quiet corner and pour my eyes out. Their words. Finger pointing. Laughter, goes on and on inside my head. I cry harder. No one was there. No one. I go back home, face my mom with a smile and tell her “school was fine”. I don’t know why I didn’t want to tell her, perhaps its due to the fact that I was scared, lonely, but That didn’t keep my mom from knowing, I guess that was when her mom’s instinct kicked in, and she knew all about, I couldn’t help but cry inside her arms. She comforted me with this sentence that to this day it’s buried inside my heart. “Words, can either build you or break you, use them wisely.”

Days, weeks went by, and I still got bullied. So, I would seek safety in a library. I understood quite well why. There were lots to read, lots to discover and I wasn’t quite sure what to begin with, and most of all it was peaceful, no one was there to bother me. Novels piled upon other novels, stories cornered with other stories, and a lost girl wondering what to read out of them all. It wasn’t hard introducing myself to the whole delusion, maybe a little at the beginning but i got the hold of it, only took me a couple of books and I was already at its darkest depth. The feeling of satisfaction and the hunger for thrill and adventure that i found inside these books would just fill my soul. Just then books became my best friends. Words became my addiction. I used them as a shield, as a sword, as a mirror. I wanted to sound eloquent, smart, and sophisticated. I was 10, and I had the tongue of a joker, but the heart of a child. (Which is who am today expect i am 17)

As I grew older satisfaction seemed so far away, so much to do as I grew up, so much responsibility, so much more managed to suck me in. I got busy with school, exams, IG’s, getting requirements done for colleges, however books and words were always there for me, helped, motivated, kept me going, as each book I read left an impact, made me believe; by its quotes or it’s story. So I wrote a lot, read a lot, becoming aware that I am escaping reality, locking away my freedom.

At the very end I became like most of them. I became good at deceiving people. Made them believe that reading made me like that, used it as an excuse. They felt my warmth, good heart that I am, even when I am not around. They felt my words. Just by them saying “it isn’t the same without you.” Keeps me lighted and smiling from the inside. To be honest that is exactly how the authors, poets, novelists made me feel. Warm. Satisfied. They weren’t there, but their words were.

My mind was heavy, full of thoughts, ideas, but my fingers were soft, so I held my pen, grabbed my notebook, closed my bedroom door, and I started. Closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and I broke free, my pen flew easily on the paper, with a steady pase, my thoughts were being transformed into words on a piece of paper, emptying my mind, giving it room to take all over me again, with thoughts. I escaped reality, missing out all life’s chances. I was scared. Just like I was when I was 10. Scared of life bullying me.

I woke up. Empty minded, for the first time. No thoughts, ideas or anything. I worried. It was like waking up in a new place. Never experienced such thing. I looked around, wondering what happened, opened my window, a nice summer breeze brushed against my face. It was like life giving me a new chance; a second chance, to go out, to discover, and experience life; enjoy its wildest side.

I went out, walked through out the streets. I started breathing in cigarette smoke, car fume, which by now my lungs got used to it. Started meeting new people, made new good friends, caught up with old friends that I haven’t seen in a long time. Also, I met people who wanted no good to me, even though I did them no harm, everyday they would smile in my face, hypocrites. And I liked it.

A lot of things started, yet a lot had stopped. I stopped hiding, runny away, feeling scared. I discovered there is so much out there, so much. It wasn’t by any chance close to my peaceful world, no humanity, no care, greed, not as much peace, not enough safety, but it felt real. Life isn’t supposed to be full of only the good things, it has a bad side too. That was what I learned out of life so far. I liked it anyway, it captured memories, laughter, sadness; ones that made a difference though, that my heart nor mind will ever forget… These my friends is what I have pinned to the wall of my room. A note. A photo. A date..

Guess all I really needed was a second chance…